Live Blog: Sunday $200K on Pokerstars

I've never tried this before, so this will probably be an awful read. I'm playing in the $11 Sunday $200K guaranteed on Pokerstars, and I'm almost to the halfway mark. The starting field was 22,566 - definitely the largest field tourney I've ever played in before. I managed to get up to $5000 in chips after being down to $800 (starting chips were $3K)...some moron called my raise preflop with K7 (i had AKs)...flopped a King, I bet half the pot, he called...the turn was a 2nd club, so I bet the pot...he called...river was a 7...he bet a small amount...figured he rivered but had to call. I more than tripled up with KK and then crippled my friend with a rivered flush. At this point, I have $7300 in chips, so away we go:

1:30...I had $7,300 in chips...down to $5,965...had AJ on cutoff...raised to $700 w AJo...guy with $700 on button called...the big blind called...flop is JQ3...i pushed him all in for his remaining 800...he called with AT and turned a K for the broadway straight. I've been getting rivered more often than Baby Moses lately, and it's killing my bankroll...I need it to stop!!!

1:33...5 minute break...back to my losing streak...I've cashed in a few S&Gs and took 8th in a MTT HORSE tourney last night, which made me $40...but it's been a rough month. I've watched way too many guys chase hands in Omaha and river...I've had a guy turn trips that gave me a straight only to see him hit quads on the river. I've lost with AA, KK and QQ more times than I can count. This stuff happens, but the frequency I've been experiencing it is insane. It's like the Poker Gods forgot that i've already learned how humbling this game is - I got that message a long time ago, you assholes. Get off my back!!!

1:39....Back...I limped with K6h, mid position...caught a King on the flop, bet out and won a $975 pot. Up to $6,665 (Damien!!!!!!); some guy just called an all-in for over $6K in chips with an A-7 a King hit on the flop...bad time to call when the guy had pocket Kings...he did river an Ace though, just to rub the pain in...lucky that guy hit the 2 outer on the flop

1:44...got Bullets...4 limpers, so I raised to $1,500 and they all folded...where's the idiot called with A7 when I need him? Up to $7,815!

1:47..limped with ATs UTG...guy with Jerry Buss avatar raised me $13oo, thought about it and folded...I can't challenge Dr. Buss. Down to $7,065 (and 10,350 left in tourney)

1:50...had K9c on the button...limped...checked to me, bet the pot and took it down. Up to $8,165. Blinds are up to $150/300/25, so it's going to be a little harder to limp with weaker hands now...some big stacks at my table. Folding stuff like QTo that I played with earlier. I still don't know if I'm too tight at this point, but I've seen a lot of challenges to aggression, and I'm not going to risk a large amount of my stack in this kind of room.

1:57...yay! the table folded around to my 8-3 in the BB; folded to me in the SB with J9...test limped to see if the BB w 12K in chips (guy calls himself THEEMASTER) called or raised; he called..I missed flop, and he bet out...trying to feel him out for eventual move

2:01...wild hand not involving me...three preflop all-ins...guy had AA and the other two both had JJ (Dr. Buss was one of them and was seriously weakened)...not many outs for them...tripled him up....I'm up to $9115 after semi-bluffing with nut flush draw....WOW...same thing happened again a few hands later....AK vs two guys w TT and an ace hit on the flop....nice timing for those pocket rockets (speaking of which, the Pocket Rocket is also the #1 selling sex toy in the world - there are numerous options and add-ons for them - ask me for sex toy info - I used to work in a sex shop across the street from Hustler Hollywood)

2:12...blinds are up to $300/600/50, and it's going to have to be an aggro match from here on out. Up to $9765 after raising with AQ...hate that hand...I cringe when I get it. Ivey's right about it...I rarely win the big ones with it, but I lose the big ones all the time with that shit...same goes for KQ, which I tend to be cautious of but can't seem to win with late in tourneys when I need it to hold up. Less than 5700 left in this thing...I can't even look in the lobby...the rapid losers are making me dizzy...only 2ooo more to the money

2:20...As usual at this point, I'm beyond card dead, although my 9-8o I had UTG would've cracked Dr. Buss's KK...now he's up to $11K and I'm at $8,400; just got moved, one hand after Dr. Buss cracked KK w AK by flopping an Ace...glad I'm away from him but I came into this room with three people all-in preflop...not a good sign...christ...never played a hand, got moved again, and now I'm in a room with four stacks well over $30K...even worse sign...I can't fold into the money...I'll be left with no self-respect

2:30...I'm out, and as usual, when I go down, I go down in flames. Down to 4400 people...had AQc in mid position, and I pushed all-in, praying I could just steal blinds and antes...the big blind called me with TT....elation followed as I flopped and Ace and two clubs....you can guess the rest, but if not, he spiked a non-club Ten on the turn, and a spade fell on the river. Out in 4367th place. See my post from 30 minutes ago for a great example of foreshadowing. I'm in agony right now, but I'm used to it. I just wish this beat had come in a 2 table S&G and not a tourney with a $22K first prize. If you actually read this whole thing, thanks for following my misery. Here's the hand, in all of its sceen captured glory

I guess I'm done for the day, but that could change depending on the strength of my addiction.

Separated At Birth, Poker Edition

For all those who've stubbornly checked this blog for activity over the last 2 years, your faith has finally been rewarded. A real live post!!! I still play poker, actually quite a bit these days. I took 131st out of 4191 in the $3 MTT rebuy on Pokerstars the other night - so close, so far away. The guy who crippled me ended up in the final 4 - congrats to him and boo for me! I'm really going to start posting stuff on here, as well as my personal blog, so keep on checking back for meaningless poker blathering. Or, go to taopoker.blogspot.com for a real poker blog.

Anyway, I'm not sure if anyone's ever noticed this, but Minnesota Twins 1st Baseman Justin Morneau and annoyingly good at everything and good looking poker pro Eric Lindgren must secretly be brothers. They look more alike than Dack & Dirk Rambo did. Check it out:

"Morneau (seated next to Tully's Current Tall Inaccessible Blonde Dream Girl Erin Andrews"

"Lindgren"

Guess I'm Busy This Sunday

I have registered to play in the
Online Poker Blogger Championship!

This event is powered by PokerStars.

Registration code: 9991825

It Was A Very Good Week

Because I leave the house at 7AMish and almost always get home around 11PM because of school, I haven't been able to play a lot of poker over the last two months. I've been doing okay in Party Poker NLHE Sit and Go's but haven't been able to win many (four third places in a row, though). Since I'm burned out on LHE right now, I decided to start playing $.50/$1 Seven Card Stud 8b instead. I have been on a major run in the last two weeks. I've made over $100 over four hour-long sessions; I've been rushing like crazy and in one session I scooped two pots with a pair of sixes and a pair of eights. I've always done pretty well in this game, but I've never devoted a lot of time to it (and have gotten killed in H.O.R.S.E tourneys during the E segment). I'm reading the Todd Brunson essay in SS2 right now, and I seem to be playing according to his guidelines. If anybody reads this and has any expertise in higher levels or live play in this game, I'd love to pick your brain. The highlight of my last session was me chasing a straight and a low and missing both, and watching my opponent scooping a pot with King high with no low qualifying hand.

Last Table At Binion's

Since I now live in So Cal, I usually play live at the Commerce Casino or at the Bike, depending on my mood. If I’m going to be playing late at night, I usually go to the Commerce, where drunken maniacs make it an interesting experience. The thing I love most about CC is the Boba drinks they sell (open until 2AM also); I am addicted to Taro Milk Teas and can’t recommend them enough. One night, I came rolling in after visiting my now ex-girlfriend in Orange County (hi Natasha!) and just missed the boba cutoff. Since I was already there, I decided to jump into game of $2/4 LHE and wait for the stand to reopen. I’ve never played with a more motley assortment of characters in my life than that table. There were only 2 tables going when I sat down, and the contrast between them was hilarious. Our table was rowdy, wild and full of lousy players just there for a good time or trying to work off a tequila buzz. The other table was seriously quiet, only talking when there was a quarrel going on (and there were several). I was having some serious ups and downs due to the wild nature of my table and had to visit the ATM for a reload (I began to question my hobby when I looked at my watch and saw it was 4:30AM and then read the “Are You A Problem Gambler?” sign posted about the cash machine that talked about setting limits). I went on a nice run and recouped my initial buy-in and continued to enjoy the banter and personalities at my table, while the other table was beginning to resemble a funeral procession. At one point, the guy sitting next to me looked over at the somber proceedings and commented, “That looks like the Last Table At Binion’s”, upon which our table burst out laughing; the other table gave us dirty looks, as they somehow knew we were laughing at them.

Eventually, their table broke up and several of their players ended up at ours. This one particularly bitter woman began to berate everybody for their bad play and the dealers for their lousy skills and talked about how she’d been playing for 20+ years and that Commerce was the worst casino in LA. I asked her why the hell she was playing there if it was so bad and moreover, why was she still playing $1/2 if she was such an “expert player”? So, of course, I became her favorite target at the table. This prompted me and the guy to my right to incessantly abuse her every time she lost a hand, and eventually, the whole table was ganging up on her. After even more unpleasantries between the two of is, I got up to use the bathroom. Unlike Dr. Pauly, there were no famous poker pros urinating next to me, unless you count the old codger wearing a Gardena Club hat. When I came back, the evil bitch was in a major argument with the floorwoman (person?) and this culminated in her forcible removal from the casino. After she returned, I asked her what happened; it turned out that she’d gotten in a huge abusive argument with the floorperson (woman?) two weeks before and had been banned from the casino. When she came on duty at 7AM, the floor told her to get the hell out of the casino and that’s when the argument started. The whole table cheered the floor, and it made it a much more pleasant experience.
For some reason (gambling addiction), I stayed all morning, waiting for the boba stand to open. The last two hours of play, in which I consumed three Taro Milk Teas and a Lychee Slush (yum!), saw me hovering around a $10 loss for the session. Around noon, I was the last person standing from the earlier group at my table, so nobody realized how long I’d been there (over ten hours). I hit back to back boats and now had over $100 in profit. When the blinds came around, I got up; this old guy looks up at me and says, “Oh, one of those hit and run artists, huh”. I just said, “Yep!”, cashed out and drove home in a state of mind that can only be described as somewhere between coked up Henry Hill in “Goodfellas” and Tony Montana when he shoots the hitman toward the end of “Scarface”. Boba Teas are the only way to fly!

Who Am I? Why Am I Here?

I promised autobiographical material, so I figured I’d try to keep my promise. Here are my basics (this is going to sound like a personal ad; nothing makes me want to stay single forever like reading the LA area Yahoo Personals):

I’m 36 years old, a dude, born and raised in Santa Clarita, CA. Growing up, I was a typical underachiever, focused on geek stuff like videogames and AD&D instead of school. Consequently, I did well on my college boards but had a 2.0 GPA in high school. To punish myself, I joined the Army. I lived in Germany, had buku adventures, drank, caroused, got laid for the first time, and generally wasted mass quantities of brain cells. I came back to So Cal, went to Cal State Northridge, moved in with my girlfriend, fucked off school, went crazy, broke up with my fiancée, dated one of her friends (we didn’t meet until after we broke up; I’m no playa), and then got a job offer in Chicago. I took my girlfriend, fell in love with Chicago (she didn’t), got married, came back to California (another big mistake), and ended up in San Jose. I lasted up there until I got laid off and then my wife and I moved down to Pismo Beach. I went to work in the wine industry, which was great for a social drinker/borderline alky like me. It wasn’t great for my wife, who drove me insane, so we split up; I moved down to Santa Ynez and basically lived the movie Sideways long before it came out (wild trivia: the building I lived in was used as the HQ for the crew on that movie; I moved out during the filming and missed my chance at film stardom playing an extra; they also filmed the scenes at “Frass Canyon” at the winery where I worked – Fess Parker).

While in Santa Ynez, I lived next to and started playing poker at the Chumash Casino; I made it to the final table at my first limit Hold ‘Em tournament (although they had an annoying format where the final table was NL and was real money; I was awful at NL so some old sharpie sucked me out and took all my winnings). I was hooked. Since then, I’ve played a ton of live and online games and now play $3-6 limit primarily. I’ve done pretty well in tourneys, but between school, work and other annoying things (like life), I don’t get to play that often. Lately, I’ve been playing a lot of Stud 8b and PLO and even Razz, so I hope to one day win the WSOP H.O.R.S.E. event (if they ever bring it back). Poker appeals to my masochistic nature, so I am hooked for life. Okay, that’s enough about me.

Coming soon: Part 2 – More About Me

Time To Relaunch

Okay, I think it's time to relaunch this "blog". I haven't been updating this thing for two main reasons: one, I have a 28.8 (best case scenario) connection at home in the boondocks, and two, I am one lazy ass bastard. But, I have slowly become a motivated lazy ass bastard, and I really need some kind of creative outlet. So, hopefully, I will update this thing regularly, some people might stumble upon it, and I'll be instantly revered as one of the blogging cognoscenti, women will flock to my mansion in rural Fillmore, CA, and I will end up writing for a major media outlet (my dream is to write the headlines for Weekly World News or about old videogames for The Onion A.V. Club - damn that Wil Wheaton, he has my dream job already). So, without further adieu, here is my new blog "Declaration of Principles" (feel free to print and keep them in case they become an important document someday):

1. I will publish an entry at least three times a week
2. While this site will mainly be about my poker misadventures, I reserve the right to talk about anything I feel like talking about. You have the right to click on the X in the corner of the screen (can't blame you either).
3. I promise not to publish hand histories or bad beat stories (very often).
4. I will try not to hit up the single women reading my blog for dates, but I will offer them some nice wine from my "cellar" if they forgive me for breaking this rule.
5. I promise to make you laugh as often as possible, although it'll probably be with contempt for my feeble attempts at humor.
6. Free The West Memphis Three

Next up: my autobiography (at least the poker part of it)