Time To Relaunch

Okay, I think it's time to relaunch this "blog". I haven't been updating this thing for two main reasons: one, I have a 28.8 (best case scenario) connection at home in the boondocks, and two, I am one lazy ass bastard. But, I have slowly become a motivated lazy ass bastard, and I really need some kind of creative outlet. So, hopefully, I will update this thing regularly, some people might stumble upon it, and I'll be instantly revered as one of the blogging cognoscenti, women will flock to my mansion in rural Fillmore, CA, and I will end up writing for a major media outlet (my dream is to write the headlines for Weekly World News or about old videogames for The Onion A.V. Club - damn that Wil Wheaton, he has my dream job already). So, without further adieu, here is my new blog "Declaration of Principles" (feel free to print and keep them in case they become an important document someday):

1. I will publish an entry at least three times a week
2. While this site will mainly be about my poker misadventures, I reserve the right to talk about anything I feel like talking about. You have the right to click on the X in the corner of the screen (can't blame you either).
3. I promise not to publish hand histories or bad beat stories (very often).
4. I will try not to hit up the single women reading my blog for dates, but I will offer them some nice wine from my "cellar" if they forgive me for breaking this rule.
5. I promise to make you laugh as often as possible, although it'll probably be with contempt for my feeble attempts at humor.
6. Free The West Memphis Three

Next up: my autobiography (at least the poker part of it)