Guess I'm Busy This Sunday

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It Was A Very Good Week

Because I leave the house at 7AMish and almost always get home around 11PM because of school, I haven't been able to play a lot of poker over the last two months. I've been doing okay in Party Poker NLHE Sit and Go's but haven't been able to win many (four third places in a row, though). Since I'm burned out on LHE right now, I decided to start playing $.50/$1 Seven Card Stud 8b instead. I have been on a major run in the last two weeks. I've made over $100 over four hour-long sessions; I've been rushing like crazy and in one session I scooped two pots with a pair of sixes and a pair of eights. I've always done pretty well in this game, but I've never devoted a lot of time to it (and have gotten killed in H.O.R.S.E tourneys during the E segment). I'm reading the Todd Brunson essay in SS2 right now, and I seem to be playing according to his guidelines. If anybody reads this and has any expertise in higher levels or live play in this game, I'd love to pick your brain. The highlight of my last session was me chasing a straight and a low and missing both, and watching my opponent scooping a pot with King high with no low qualifying hand.

Last Table At Binion's

Since I now live in So Cal, I usually play live at the Commerce Casino or at the Bike, depending on my mood. If I’m going to be playing late at night, I usually go to the Commerce, where drunken maniacs make it an interesting experience. The thing I love most about CC is the Boba drinks they sell (open until 2AM also); I am addicted to Taro Milk Teas and can’t recommend them enough. One night, I came rolling in after visiting my now ex-girlfriend in Orange County (hi Natasha!) and just missed the boba cutoff. Since I was already there, I decided to jump into game of $2/4 LHE and wait for the stand to reopen. I’ve never played with a more motley assortment of characters in my life than that table. There were only 2 tables going when I sat down, and the contrast between them was hilarious. Our table was rowdy, wild and full of lousy players just there for a good time or trying to work off a tequila buzz. The other table was seriously quiet, only talking when there was a quarrel going on (and there were several). I was having some serious ups and downs due to the wild nature of my table and had to visit the ATM for a reload (I began to question my hobby when I looked at my watch and saw it was 4:30AM and then read the “Are You A Problem Gambler?” sign posted about the cash machine that talked about setting limits). I went on a nice run and recouped my initial buy-in and continued to enjoy the banter and personalities at my table, while the other table was beginning to resemble a funeral procession. At one point, the guy sitting next to me looked over at the somber proceedings and commented, “That looks like the Last Table At Binion’s”, upon which our table burst out laughing; the other table gave us dirty looks, as they somehow knew we were laughing at them.

Eventually, their table broke up and several of their players ended up at ours. This one particularly bitter woman began to berate everybody for their bad play and the dealers for their lousy skills and talked about how she’d been playing for 20+ years and that Commerce was the worst casino in LA. I asked her why the hell she was playing there if it was so bad and moreover, why was she still playing $1/2 if she was such an “expert player”? So, of course, I became her favorite target at the table. This prompted me and the guy to my right to incessantly abuse her every time she lost a hand, and eventually, the whole table was ganging up on her. After even more unpleasantries between the two of is, I got up to use the bathroom. Unlike Dr. Pauly, there were no famous poker pros urinating next to me, unless you count the old codger wearing a Gardena Club hat. When I came back, the evil bitch was in a major argument with the floorwoman (person?) and this culminated in her forcible removal from the casino. After she returned, I asked her what happened; it turned out that she’d gotten in a huge abusive argument with the floorperson (woman?) two weeks before and had been banned from the casino. When she came on duty at 7AM, the floor told her to get the hell out of the casino and that’s when the argument started. The whole table cheered the floor, and it made it a much more pleasant experience.
For some reason (gambling addiction), I stayed all morning, waiting for the boba stand to open. The last two hours of play, in which I consumed three Taro Milk Teas and a Lychee Slush (yum!), saw me hovering around a $10 loss for the session. Around noon, I was the last person standing from the earlier group at my table, so nobody realized how long I’d been there (over ten hours). I hit back to back boats and now had over $100 in profit. When the blinds came around, I got up; this old guy looks up at me and says, “Oh, one of those hit and run artists, huh”. I just said, “Yep!”, cashed out and drove home in a state of mind that can only be described as somewhere between coked up Henry Hill in “Goodfellas” and Tony Montana when he shoots the hitman toward the end of “Scarface”. Boba Teas are the only way to fly!

Who Am I? Why Am I Here?

I promised autobiographical material, so I figured I’d try to keep my promise. Here are my basics (this is going to sound like a personal ad; nothing makes me want to stay single forever like reading the LA area Yahoo Personals):

I’m 36 years old, a dude, born and raised in Santa Clarita, CA. Growing up, I was a typical underachiever, focused on geek stuff like videogames and AD&D instead of school. Consequently, I did well on my college boards but had a 2.0 GPA in high school. To punish myself, I joined the Army. I lived in Germany, had buku adventures, drank, caroused, got laid for the first time, and generally wasted mass quantities of brain cells. I came back to So Cal, went to Cal State Northridge, moved in with my girlfriend, fucked off school, went crazy, broke up with my fiancée, dated one of her friends (we didn’t meet until after we broke up; I’m no playa), and then got a job offer in Chicago. I took my girlfriend, fell in love with Chicago (she didn’t), got married, came back to California (another big mistake), and ended up in San Jose. I lasted up there until I got laid off and then my wife and I moved down to Pismo Beach. I went to work in the wine industry, which was great for a social drinker/borderline alky like me. It wasn’t great for my wife, who drove me insane, so we split up; I moved down to Santa Ynez and basically lived the movie Sideways long before it came out (wild trivia: the building I lived in was used as the HQ for the crew on that movie; I moved out during the filming and missed my chance at film stardom playing an extra; they also filmed the scenes at “Frass Canyon” at the winery where I worked – Fess Parker).

While in Santa Ynez, I lived next to and started playing poker at the Chumash Casino; I made it to the final table at my first limit Hold ‘Em tournament (although they had an annoying format where the final table was NL and was real money; I was awful at NL so some old sharpie sucked me out and took all my winnings). I was hooked. Since then, I’ve played a ton of live and online games and now play $3-6 limit primarily. I’ve done pretty well in tourneys, but between school, work and other annoying things (like life), I don’t get to play that often. Lately, I’ve been playing a lot of Stud 8b and PLO and even Razz, so I hope to one day win the WSOP H.O.R.S.E. event (if they ever bring it back). Poker appeals to my masochistic nature, so I am hooked for life. Okay, that’s enough about me.

Coming soon: Part 2 – More About Me

Time To Relaunch

Okay, I think it's time to relaunch this "blog". I haven't been updating this thing for two main reasons: one, I have a 28.8 (best case scenario) connection at home in the boondocks, and two, I am one lazy ass bastard. But, I have slowly become a motivated lazy ass bastard, and I really need some kind of creative outlet. So, hopefully, I will update this thing regularly, some people might stumble upon it, and I'll be instantly revered as one of the blogging cognoscenti, women will flock to my mansion in rural Fillmore, CA, and I will end up writing for a major media outlet (my dream is to write the headlines for Weekly World News or about old videogames for The Onion A.V. Club - damn that Wil Wheaton, he has my dream job already). So, without further adieu, here is my new blog "Declaration of Principles" (feel free to print and keep them in case they become an important document someday):

1. I will publish an entry at least three times a week
2. While this site will mainly be about my poker misadventures, I reserve the right to talk about anything I feel like talking about. You have the right to click on the X in the corner of the screen (can't blame you either).
3. I promise not to publish hand histories or bad beat stories (very often).
4. I will try not to hit up the single women reading my blog for dates, but I will offer them some nice wine from my "cellar" if they forgive me for breaking this rule.
5. I promise to make you laugh as often as possible, although it'll probably be with contempt for my feeble attempts at humor.
6. Free The West Memphis Three

Next up: my autobiography (at least the poker part of it)

WPBT H.O.R.S.E Tourney

Although this "blog" is woefully rusting away, I decided that since I definitely qualify as a reader, I would go ahead and play the latest WPBT event on Full Tilt. I had planned on playing all week, but my scene partner from acting class showed up at the last minute and almost ruined those plans. Luckily, the weather turned really bad, and she had a panic attack about being trapped out here at the "mansion" aka the boondocks; at 5:55, she freaks and starts to stress out about crashing into the quarry ravine that one must travel through to reach my pad. I asked her to wait one minute and ran downstairs at breakneck speed, logged on to Full Tilt and entered with one minute to spare. Then, I ran back upstairs, told her to get out and settled in for the rocky ride. Rocky, indeed. I've played all of the H.O.R.S.E games at one point and am pretty decent in O and S, but the R and E always kick my ass. I despise those games. So, my game plan was to play aggressively in Hold 'Em, relatively tight in O8B and Stud, and UBERTIGHT in the others. Things went well until about level 12, when I stupidly abandoned my successful strategy (I was in 7th place at this point) and decided to play Razz. Moron! My stack dwindled from the mid 4,000s to $1800 faster than you can say AAA23. Some of my Razz hands would have won me a lot of dough at the Stud tables. Stud went badly, as every starting hand I had turned to complete and utter shite. And then came S8B. I announced to my friends watching, "That's it, I'm not playing until Hold Em!" And I made good on my promise - until the very last hand of E. I got (TT)9 with two suited cards. This shortstack to my right bets out, so I raise...everybody folds around until the chip leader, who I had just implored to stay out of the hand, raises me. At this point, I figure I am pot committed and besides, the CL was representing a low. So, I figured , raise it up. Things looked up on 4th street, when I hit another 9 but nothing touched me after that. So, showdown, and the chip leader turns over rolled up Aces and a higher two pair. Hello 37th place. All in all, I loved this tourney and for $5, it was one hell of a time. My only complaint about the tourney was the rapid expansion in blinds. It was difficult to even get involved in the lowball games after the first 5 levels, and although I am definitely not an expert in them, I would have enjoyed a little more action before it got too expensive. I have really grown to love the Full Tilt interface, and it works really well with my 28.8 dial up connection (seriously, I live in the boondocks). The players aren't as fishy as those at Party, but the variance hasn't been as bad either; thus, less tilt for me and I still have my bankroll (compared to the void that is my Party Poker account). I am actually enjoying stealing a lot of pots in limit, because these guys are the tightest low-limit players I've ever seen. I rarely see a $1-2 table go to a flop with more than 4 players if there's a raise.

Anyway, a big thanks to Iggy for putting this tourney up, and I hope this is the first of many blogger tourneys I enter (and hopefully, the last where I only consider myself a reader).